They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He felt like a one man threesome
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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