I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
