I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
