I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
