if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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