Its about making memories worth repressing
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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