You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
