Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
