Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
