It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
