i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
