He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
