It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
