Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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