oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
