We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
