Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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