Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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