well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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