If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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