i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
