You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
