He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I need moral support for this bender
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
