So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
