The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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