You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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