I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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