Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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