You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
They have beer where we have blood.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
