I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
