awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
