Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
