it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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