let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
