I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
