just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
