Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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