i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
