I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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