i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
