you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
