I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
