"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
