if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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