Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
