So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
