I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You took a bar mat shot.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
