i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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