You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
