He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
