Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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